Taking care of "my" son

by Katherine
(SA, TX)

My husbands ex-wife gave up custody of her 5 year old boy 2 years ago. We took him in with loving arms and I love him as my own. The "mom" feels justified because she was moving to another state to start a new life that she would eventually want him to come and be apart of. She comes back and forth in and out of his life and decides every so often that she wants to have him back. I don't feel that she deserves him and I don't think she is a suitable mom. She loves him, but not enough, not as much as a mother needs to.
I can see that he is struggling with abandonment issues. He has a hard time being affectionate and saying he loves anyone. I am not perfect in working with him everyday or even knowing exactly what I should be focusing on. I just know that I want him to feel loved and safe and I want to take care of him now so maybe the issues he will grow up with be limited.