Ruth Brighton

by Grace Ann
(England)

From a young age I can distinctly remember being extremely self conscious. My confidence and self belief was never great even when I was a child but my school years were a mixture of very happy, very nurturing but also very tough times.

I never fit in, or at least I kept telling myself that. I looked like a boy, grew a moustache and had ridiculous hair!..I look back and laugh now but also understand how it fully effected my teenage and indeed later years. I've never known what I wanted from life, or indeed, never known how to get what I want. My family, which are extremely loving, do not come without their own hangups - some of which have def rubbed off on me. My mum is deeply insecure, yet infinitely wise (which I think fueled my problem as well as taught me to examine and explore myself). She fears certain things and has never liked social situations - altho ironically, she is excellent and very very natural around ALL types of people. My dad is more shy and reserved and yet puts himself up for many social situations.

I'm somewhere in between but find myself analysing situations so very deeply, almost to great extremes..I am in a point in my life where I do not know what I want to do for work, I am currently self employed but find it is not working out and am soo scared that my life is passing by and I am wasting it.

I feel, deep down, the need to travel, explore and know that this would take me so beyond my comfort zone but know also that I would learn and grow so much from such an experience. I am paralysed tho, by my own fear and the very interconnected circumstances that have trapped me mentally and physically..

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Thanks for writing, I wish you great luck in discovering your love and passion in life. What needs do you see in your society that you feel a lot of care for? Can't go wrong with service to life~! With love, Laura