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Mr.

by Jim
(NJ)

a question. A daughter in her 40's, parents have been under her provision. Bought them a home, car, and now wants to get married, if she leaves, they can not pay the mortgage. So she feels if she gets married, she will be abandoning her parents and get in trouble by leaving them without means. Is this true?

Comments for
Mr.

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Aug 10, 2009
 Fear of Abandonment - Partners
by: Laura

I'm sorry, I don't see myself as the judge and jury on what is or is not abandonment. If she feels she would be abandoning her parents, that is the issue that needs resolution.

I am guessing that you want to marry her? Your only place of power in this situation is to get real about your motives and needs. What about you is attracted to a woman who is unavailable?

When you heal yourself, you might create a shift in the dynamic and create an opening for her availability to you. Or for you to attract another woman who is available.

Arguing whether she would or would not be abandoning her parents doesn't meet anyone's needs.

Thanks for writing and good luck with getting your needs met.

Laura

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