JB

I am an out of town gramdmother to a young girl whom I've recently found is being left alone, in charge of a year younger sibling who is disabled (drug baby now 8 yrs. old). Mother goes out when they are asleep for who knows how long. Granddaughter has been told not to tell and fears punishment. What can I do and what may be the consequences of reporting? I know the possible outcome of not reporting and fear the worst. In addition the mom brings home different men and I've heard she locks the kids in a room while 'entertaining'. HELP!
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Aiy! This is drastic. Consequences of reporting vary state to state, of course. I was once an advocate for children in foster care. The scenario I would predict based on my experiences in Nashville, TN are:

Children are removed to foster care and for 2-12 years they are bounced around from home to home, often separated, often subjected to unstable and abusive situations. Mom is put through her paces to regain parental rights, but Mom never quite gets it all the way together. By the time any resolution of any kind is reached, including your option of fostering or adopting them, the children have suffered immeasurable and irredeemable physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual damage. There would also be the nightmares of being caught in a legal system that is totally overwhelmed and incomprehensible, not to mention expensive.

What's the answer? If I were you, I'd look for professional legal advice from someone in child protective services. Someone you can trust to give you advice on what actions or influence you can have without reporting and setting off a tragic chain of events. Remember that it is law to report known abuse, so do not claim abuse to your advisor, putting them in the position of having to report.

What would happen, for example, if the kids came to visit you and never went home? Came for a LONG visit? Eventually, the legal issues need to be faced, of course. A private deal with Mom is better than through the protective services, in my experience.

Or if you moved nearby and provided a home away from home, where they could keep in contact with Mom?

Mom is on a path that offers very little hope of turning around EVER. Children have rights as human beings to safe, stable, and healthy homes and parental figures. Without those rights, they are almost guaranteed to continue onto paths similar to their mothers'. And THIER kids as well.

Parents will SAY they want their kids back and thus create an obstacle to their ever having a real home. But they don't follow through, they just can't bring themselves to "abandon" their children consciously.

My heart breaks for all of you.
Laura