Is this abandonment

by Eilidh
(Aberdeen)

i can remember,I like You live with your father,mother and silbling. to your knowleadge your life is fine. My father doesnt say more than two senteances or sometimes even come into my room to say hello. im 15. its always been like that to me. the only thing he talks to me about is school or college. nothing like hows your day? its more like, how did your college interview go or something like that, he'd sometimes ask about how was my school day but thats only onceto say in my room, i'm alone. i dont enjoy being with other, more of a social dread really. i get uncomfortable when someone steps into my room to have a chat, they cant see it, i hide it well. but its burning inside. I feel hallow and the need to lie for things i know that you shouldnt lie about.
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No, it isn't abandonment, it is being 15. I don't mean that in an insulting way. Find something to admire and respect and appreciate in your Dad and in others and in yourself especially. Ask your Dad meaningful questions about his life...what was it like when he was 15, for example. Who is his best friend? Does he love his work? What is he most proud of?

It is a long, lonely, hard lesson for many girls and women to learn that many men show their love and their relationship to you in their own way.

It would be unspeakably tragic if you don't learn how to look into his mind and heart, his values and his effort to care and provide for you. The man may well have sacrificed much of what he calls happiness to give you a stable life. Men don't show love the same as women.

If you look and listen and open your heart to what you are receiving from this man who is your father, who is half of what you are, you may find yourself moved to tears with what he gives and what you receive.

You owe him your deepest appreciation and respect. Find some way to express that to him. You may find that expressing the deepest and truest things are a lot harder than you think. You may come to understand that he IS connecting with you the best way he knows how.

much love-- you lucky lady
Laura