i'm not sure this is abandonment but close enough i guess
by amanda
when i was 15 going on 16 (he passed away a week before my 16th birthday in October of 2008) i lost my great grandpa, i had never known either set of grandparents and i had always felt like my great grandpa would always be there for me. i hadn't known he was dieing of cancer when it happen, he never told me. i'm only starting to assume why, we had been close during my childhood; i spent weekends with my great grandparents all the time & it just about broke my heart when he died. after he had passed away it felt as if there was a sort of haze in my life, not letting me remember anything close to the day. i was a freshman in h.s at the time and i can't remember my freshman year at all. it was hard to remember anything that year, but about 7 months after he died i made my first suicide attempt. i had lived with the haze for 7 months & my only thought then was ''let the pain & hurt stop.'' i chose to end my life so i could be with him again or to stop from hurting i don't really know. i guess i'm still looking for ways to cope.. |
