I hate my past

by christine
(canada)

dmy mother had a few mental health problems when I was 10 or so , and at age 12 she gave me away to the government . they didn't know what do with me so they locked in a Youth Center " mini jail " . I'm pretty sure I have PTSD from that experience , it was very difficult because I was a very sensitive child , did art , played the cello , was a vegetarian . Being locked in with kids that were drug dealers and prostitutes that tattooed me and beat me up just added to my abandonment . My mother would visit occasionally and was very hurt that the government put me there , but she couldn't take me back because she was still not doing well , my father would take me home on a weekend visit once in awhile but he always left me there again . Now I am 38 and I feel like I'm dying numerous times a day when my boyfriend of 8 years is slightly late from work , I think he's plotting against me and meeting with his family to plan how he will leave me , or meeting with ex . I get so scared I pace around and call a crisis phone line . I just want to relax , feel strong and feel loved for once . Any advice would be very helpful thank you.
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I hope you can understand when I tell you that the best and maybe only advice I can give you is to get professional help. I suggest sessions - like the kind I do, Resonance Repatterning - to help you release emotional trauma and bring coherence into your mind-body-spirit system. This goes deeper than deep. I would expect that you would ALSO benefit from some body work along with the sessions. Something like acupuncture or cranial sacral therapy.

We don't think twice about getting professional help for physical ailments. Your situation simply requires assistance.

with lots of love to you,
Laura