I got cancer and now my friends are nowhere to be found. Family, too

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I got cancer and now my friends are nowhere to be found. Family, too

by sadder than syd
(Nevada)

Cancer is a horrible disease, that grates on a person's mind emotionally 24hrs a day.

Early on in my diagnosis, I would think "Well, at least I'll have my family & Friends to help get me through this.

Ha! Couldn't have been further from the truth.

no one. Husband is here; out of obligation, I'd say. But I'm alone. I make love to a piece of plastic with 2 batteries. But at least I get to make love. I put my thoughts down on paper; but at least I get to talk to someone~ and not care if there's anyone listening.

Thank you, Cancer, for taking away my Life. My friends, my family, my fun. My dogs, my vacations, my favorite clothes. Traveling and visiting friends~~ ALL GONE! In fact, FAKE FRIEND REVEALED!! Thank you,
Cancer. you have been soooooooooo wonderful to me! Thank you for revealing ALL Of my 'FAKE FRIENDS", cuz believe me folks, you have 'em. And they ain't never the ones you think of, either.

Life sucks. Why am I fighting to stay alive??? I have no idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so very sorry for all you are going through and I hope with all my heart that your deepest questions find answers, resolutions, peace, and love.

May you be well, may you be happy.

With love
Laura

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I got cancer and now my friends are nowhere to be found. Family, too

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Jul 30, 2011

Tired of the pain
by: David from Texas

I feel the same as everyone else. In a perfect world you are close with your family and friends and they are supportive and you can trust them to talk to. I hate even mentioning my cancer because my life has become such a wreck. I decided to take chances I don't normally take with relationships, job and God because it is very sobering to know you won't live forever. I have tried so hard to be a better person but everything I do turns out wrong and everyone that is close to me is always angry with me. I try not to tell them that I am hurting because I don't want to add to the stress but somedays I am just tired and hurting. The meds have me constantly not feeling like myself and you don't need to ask how my finances are. I am trying so hard to be positive but it is so hard. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about my condition. I don't want sympathy. I just want a little understanding. I forget things all the time and I just don't feel like I am doing anything right. It is so hard to even think of talking to people about it because everyone I am close to no longer wants to be around me. It makes it very hard to confide. I wish at least a family member cared but my brother and sister rarely talk to me. I feel like all I do is hurt people. I fear my wife wants to leave me and my children aren't happy either. I just wish I could get my act together and do the right thing. Any suggestions?

David in Texas

Apr 16, 2011

To Laura
by: Cynthia

4/16/2011
I'm sorry Laura, I did not see your comment before I wrote you the first e-mail. I have just ran out of hope because I have tried everything I can think of. I forgive my son completely, but it's choice at this point if won't speak to me. I just leave him alone because I don't want him to think I am harrassing him. I love him so much, but there is nothing I can do but pray to God that he will forgive me for any wrong he thinks I have done him. I would be glad to talk to him about this, but he has chose to shut me out for years until I could not talk it anymore this week and I tried to talk to him. I will just leave him alone and hope for the best.

The best to you again Laura.

Apr 16, 2011

I know
by: Cynthia

4/16/2011 Dear Laura: The exact same thing has happened to me. I've lost everything that matters in life friends, family, finances. My son just finally desserted me this week. He said I always tried to make him my husband because I didn't have one. The man I was married to for 17 years was a quadraplegic (paralyzed) then he died in 1991. I then went to work to support myself and my son was grown and out of the house by then and had his own life. He is an only child and I think I gave him too much because it was hard trying to raise him really on my own. Then after 10 years of working I got cancer, and that's when all the trouble really started. My friends left, the only one I had died about 3 months ago. The other one is in another state and we talk all the time but it's not the same as her being here. I have a brother but I know he's not going to help me and I won't ask. My mother had cancer and I took care of her while my husband was still alive and I was taking care of him also. Then she died and 7 years later my father came down with lung cancer and I brought him to my home and took care of him along with my husband. My father died, then my husband died 2 years later. I've tried to be a good person all my life, but I am not perfect. But it just seems to me that I took care of people all my life and now I'm going to have another recurrence of the cancer (it returns every year) and there will be no one to help me. I am thinking of not getting anymore treatment so I can go ahead and die and not have to be a burden to anyone anymore. I am tired of fighting for my life and there is no purpose anymore. I know exactly how you feel. I don't know if you will get this message, but I feel bad for you. I hope someone comes to your rescue. I know I am doomed. I don't want to be here anymore and if I had the courage I would kill myself. The best to you, God bless.

Apr 15, 2011

I agree - Fear of Abandonment Issues
by: Cynthia

I have just had the same thing happen to me. The only person I had left was my only child, a son, who helped me with everything.

I've had recurring cancer for 11 years and my son helped me with appointments for the last 4 years only. I was always able to drive myself before then. Now he wants money from me every year because I sold him my house for the balance owed only and he wants me to pay the taxes every year.

We had an argument about this and now he is saying I always tried to make him my husband because I married a quadraplegic that I took care of for 17 years before he died. My child and I benefitted greatly from the help of my deceased husband. My child grew up wanting for nothing and if I had not married this man, my child more than likely would not have had the opportunities he had as a child.

I was NOT a perfect parent, and my son probably missed out on a lot of things that other children had from having a normal father, but his real father was never in the picture unless he wanted to cause trouble and make my son hate me and his step-father.

Now my son has turned 40. He has been verbally abusing me for the last 4 years and is very resentful of me. I am so crushed. I am very depressed and if I had the courage I would kill myself. I have nothing left to live for.

I am going to get restaged for the cancer next week. When my cancer comes back, and it will, I will choose not to be treated anymore. I will choose pallative treatment and ask them to make me comfortable so I can die. There is nothing left to live for. I know just how you feel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for writing, Cynthia. I hope you and your son can find the love that is there between you underneath all of this. I hope you make peace with one another. I hope you can forgive your son and have a vision of him becoming healed. I hope you find love and warmth and comfort in the Divine
Presence within you and around you.

with love,
Laura

Mar 18, 2011

sorry...
by: Anonymous

That sounds awful..cancer alone should be bad enough without the added relationship problems. I think when someone is having serious troubles, even the people that love them don't often know how to handle the situation. Any time I have been depressed, i don't push people away but just withdrawl into myself and watch people disappear from my life. I am not depressed like that anymore, but I still don't have a lot of friends. And that is okay with me right now, i just try to love and respect the few people that are around and that is usually enough. As for the rest of them..they are nice to see every once in a while, and i don't worry about it when i don't. Be positive...and try to beat this cancer, you will have others cheer you on in no time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks so much for your comments...
Laura

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I got cancer and now my friends are nowhere to be found. Family, too

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I got cancer and now my friends are nowhere to be found. Family, too