FELT ABANDONMENT SINCE CHILDHOOD
by Melanie
I was born out of wedlock and me and my mom lived with my grandparents until I was a year old. Then my mom married my stepdad whom was a drunk. I moved in with them when they got married, and at age 3, he came home one night n beat me and left bruises. My grandma saw it and I came to live with my grandparents. My mom stayed with my stepdad. He eventually quit drinking so we thought and I even called him daddy. My grandparents raised me, and eventually adopted me when i was a freshman in high school. My real dad was never a part of my life. My mom was never there for me when i was sick or to help with school work. I was suppose to be raised in a christian home, but all i saw was they were all about money. I always felt like I wasn't good enough for my grandparents and the rest of the family no matter what i did. No matter who my friends were and they came around my grandparents acted like they were better than me or see what they could do. I have been put down all my life, looks n ect. There was always some drama going on in my family. I hated to stay home, and I didnt do good at school. I was touched by my stepdad's nephew and my old female cousin. It always bothered me, and I was young when it happened n i thought it was ok. Over the past 10 yrs I have been married once bfore n lost a stillborn little girl. I have always been there for my family but they have never been there for me. I have tried to have a relationship with my mom, but all she does is lie to me and has always cared about her siblings and men more than me. It hurts cause I am her only child and her siblings have always treated her badly and me. I feel like I have missed out on the important things in a family life. My grandparents are gone now and I got cheated out of my inheritance their house. My cousin lives there and she never came around except when she wanted something. I did live there and helped take care of my grandparents. I have been there for my mom even though she did all those things to me. Now I have nothing to do with my entire family. I am tired of being hurt by them and being their convience. I am married for the 2nd time to a great husband, but it hurts sometimes because he is close to his family and I thought his family was getting close to me and now they dont even call me. I feel so alone and abandoned and like I have no one. I don't even have a best friend. I have lost it all before my first marriage, stillborn baby and job, and new car and had to start over again. I have had no family support. My mom got married a year ago and I wasn't invited to her wedding but she had her siblings there that always treated her bad n me bad. I am hurting so bad, and it seems like i cant break this hurt. I have been to church and prayed, but i cant overcome it. My mom wants something to do with me, but I dont her cause she has hurt me so bad. My hubby works 2nd and it is just me and my son here all boy ourselves. We don't have my family or my hubbys family or any friends to hang with, and it gets so hurtful and lonely. |
