Do you see yourself as like a fabric that has been stained and destroyed? I understand that you feel bad on many levels.
I want you to understand that you are letting yourself - your soul, your deep true essence - to lose its value to you.
This is a huge mistake. You are buying into cultural beliefs and traditions in a world that is in drastic change. The old ways are the OLD ways. Not wrong...not right either.
Can you believe, truly believe, that you came to have your life here and now so that you can see yourself this way and throw away your value?
You must insist on YOUR VALUE. You say you re-create the situation. YES, that is what we do. Very insightful of you!! The answer lies in understanding that. What do you need to get, so you can feel resolved and STOP IT?
Does your value and honor depend on marriage?
What do you think you need? Perhaps YOU need to forgive YOU. And see your worth as far beyond, far greater, than a past experience, or beyond a fickle man, beyond emotional upsets.
If you were born into a different culture, my culture, you would not be suffering the same way. It is not eternal truth, only culture. What is your soul trying to learn?
Imagine you are 80 years old, looking back at your life. See yourself as you are now from that perspective. How do you think and feel about what you are doing. Does age and experience bring you some wisdom, forgiveness, some lesson that you can use now?
Are you YOU? or are you empty of all but your cultural imprints?
I say this with love. I hope you will find your TRUE soul self and make a beautiful life. YOU deserve it!
