Fear of Abandonment - Ms. Houston

by Ms. Houston
(Mobile, AL USA)

I think it makes it difficult. I say this because I make my relationship difficult due to my abandonment issues. I do this because I'm afraid to get so close that I will someday feel the awful pain I went thru when my ex-spouse decided he was done with me and his 10 yr. career in the U.S. Navy.


I haven't been able to understand why. For the past 1 1/2 years he's lived with his mother and hasn't done a thing for himself.


I've done my best to move on but I'm angry still... I'm difficult to deal with now and that wasn't how I saw myself in the mirror before.


I'm afraid of falling in love; caring for someone that my one day wake up and say, "I no longer what to be here." I'm afraid of sharing a life, and then finding myself alone again.


So, I focus on WORK, I've turned a bit self centered. And I've built this WALL that I will not let fall. It's my protective shield. I guess I'm hoping that the reasons I do this is understood. At this moment, I don't feel there is anything else that I can do to resolve my fears. I'm not ready to face them.