Fear of Abandonment - Me

by Kat
(British Columbia, Canada)

I have fear of abandonment issues. I remember crying a lot in my crib alone with ear infections.

My father refused to talk to me when I was upset as a kid. When I was five, my mom started working. I don't ever remember feeling emotionally connected with her after that until I became an adult myself and initiated it.

My sister and I were extremely close until I was about six. Then she became very angry and decided she didn't want to be near me. We are both in our forties now and she still avoids me. She will talk to me on the phone now and be friendly.

My dad died when I was 32. I married a man that became more and more emotionally unavailable. Most of the marriage, he refused to share his feelings or respond to my mine. He didn't share with his chldren or want to play wth them.

I was in a relationship for 2 years with a man after that who was reclusive and kept a physical and emotional distance. He broke up with me at least 10 times during the two years. He talked about the instability of the relationship incessantly. It was very difficult for me.

Now I am in a relationship with a really nice guy. I find that I panic if he doesn't return my call within a few hours. I find that I start to withdraw when I start to feel insecure. I'm afraid I will never feel peaceful and unafraid.
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Laura responds - I've been there, done that. First, when you get insecure/panic, remind your SELF that this is only YOU reacting. "There I go again"! Sit WITH yourself, send calm, loving energy to your insides..your gut, belly, breath, head. DO THE EMOTIONAL RELEASE on this site (button on left) . Each instance of abandonment you mentioned has left "triggers" - one by one, bring healing and soothing and reassurance, to how you felt in each instance. Ask yourself, "What did I need" in those painful times. Then allow yourself to need it. "I need to know I'm ok, everything is ok". (for example). Fill your heart with love, breathe in love, breathe love out to everyone you care about. Give thanks for all the love that flows INSIDE YOU.
with love
Laura