Fear of Abandonment - Parents! by: Laura (Webmaster)
It is a difficult life passage when we finally see that our parents are emotionally immature. It is such a shock when they behave childishly. Yet it happens and is one of the way of things.
It is hard yet it can be a blessing! Once you accept that your parents are -only human- and quite imperfect, you take a step into thinking for yourself. You no longer rely on their lead in the same way (you no longer make THEIR perceptions above yours) and this is good and important for you.
You must let go of the idea that if your father rejects you then everyone else must. That is YOUR childish thinking. So far, you have handled yourself quite wisely. You gave him a chance to do the right thing.
Your father is going through what I call an opportunity for growth. So far, he is not taking the opportunity!
So now the tables are turned and it is time for YOU to be the adult. Clearly he is very stressed out about all of this. Imagine he is a two year old having a tantrum. Just hold YOUR PEACE and your love and eternal gratitude for him and know that this shall pass and all shall be forgotten someday.
To my extreme mortification, I grow wiser everyday. Heck. Send him a loving, reassuring card, let him know that you love him no matter what and that when he is ready, you are standing by to reconnect with him.
Everybody deserves to be all wrong at least once in life!
As far as you being needy with friends...I understand that is a pattern. But since you are aware of it, you can heal it. Every time you are noticing these responses inside of you, take a few moments and just sit still and feel all your feelings. Be WITH yourself, your body sensations, your breath, make note of your thoughts but do not believe them.
Eventually they will dissolve like mist in the sunshine.
