All I can say is that you are well ahead of most people because you actually know what you are doing. That's 80% of the problem solved.
Have you told your lastest ex that you have this problem and that you want to be with him, but need someone who can help you beat this? In my experience, once you find that right person, he or she will understand better when they know what's going on and want to work with you to move through it. just a thought :-) Pete
