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Fear of Abandonment - Continued -
How does calling fear of abandonment an illness make things worse?
Implying that fear of abandonment is ITSELF the problem - is an ILLNESS - only serves to intensify fear. It’s like this…”Oh great, now I am afraid of feeling fear, because if I feel fear, then there IS something wrong with me. Oh dear, I’m afraid I am feeling fear again.”
Abandonment happens all the time and we all know that. And we know it feels really bad. So who WOULDN’T be afraid of facing life alone? Like any fear, it becomes overwhelming when you don't have understanding or tools to deal with it. It really IS that simple.
Here comes the brain science part: The reason you have a fear of abandonment is because you have experienced what felt like abandonment. Your brain registered this (a ghostly memory) as danger (and rightly so - it IS very hard to survive alone). Your brain wants you to survive so it warns you (gives you a scare) anytime it is reminded of possible abandonment. Your brain is NOT ILL, it is just doing what it does. Being at war with what your brain does only make things worse.
Therefore -- another way to understand fear of abandonment
is that you have a brain that loves you and is vigilant about looking after you. It just gets a little carried away!
I promise…if you work WITH your brain, it will work with you. Your brain wants to help your fear of abandonment, so help your brain to help you.
Now... Shall we begin?
To be courageous, start by getting more clarity about your own fears.
1. Fill in the blank:
“I know that I have fear of abandonment (or abandonment issues) because I:
(Describe what triggers your fear of abandonment and how you react, anything you do -or avoid doing- because of your fears and issues.)
~Is your fear triggered by new beginnings? A new
job, relationship? Meeting new people, being in new
situations? Are you afraid to be self-assertive?
(weak Wood Element)
~Is your fear triggered by intimacy? Sexuality? Feeling
unsafe and unprotected? Being controlled? Losing control?
Do you fear social situations? Do you fear communication?
(weak Fire Element)
~Do you have fears about your survival? Food, water,
clothing, housing? Do you fear being unsupported?
(weak Earth Element)
~Are you afraid of failure, humiliation, embarrassment?
Being "wrong"? Is it difficult for you to be authentic? Are
you afraid that you will do the wrong actions? Are you
confused about what is true and right?
(weak Metal Element)
~And finally, are you afraid of fear? Does fear steal your
calm or make you unable to face your life? Do you lose
clarity? Do you have a "fear program" that runs (ruins)
your life and disables your ability to move forward with
power?
(weak Water Element)
2. Write about times when you felt abandoned. This might be something like your mother being away for a while. There may be times you don't remember but heard about - a stay in a hospital, for example, when you were very young.
"I can't remember what life was like before because I am not that person any more, ~ but I do know I used to be pretty darned miserable."
V.G., Software Engineer, Boston
”Laura identified abandonment issues that no therapist ever had, pinpointing years of my childhood that imprinted me.
I am hooked! This work is interesting, rejuvenating, quite different and I feel uplifted at the end of every session.
I am a different person today than I was six weeks ago. My abandonment issues are GREATLY diminished. I am much more aware of my triggers, know how to manage them and feel more in control and happier than I've been in a long time. The sense of peace and optimism is wonderful.
Some of my friends think this work sounds crazy, I am a convert and am pleased beyond words that my search brought me to Laura and Resonance Repatterning work.”
L.G., Executive Management, Fortune 500 Company.
I am a Certified Resonance Repatterning Practitioner since 2000 and have offered phone sessions for several years ~they work beautifully and powerfully.
The safety of home allows for very deep healing. Each session also provides you with customized self-healing techniques.Laura Frisbie, M.Ed., CRRP
Contact Email me to schedule a session or a time to talk for a few minutes before you decide. Sessions are 90 minutes with NO long distance charges. 1 for $90, 2 for $85 each, 3 for $80 each, 4 and up for $75 each.
~! NEW !~ Shorter sessions DO HELP ALOT. Try a 45 minute session for $55.
About Learn about phone sessions, what clients have to say, my professional training, or my personal life.
Laura Frisbie, M.Ed., CRRP
Contact Email me to schedule a session or a time to talk for a few minutes before you decide. Sessions are 90 minutes with NO long distance charges. 1 for $90, 2 for $85 each, 3 for $80 each, 4 and up for $75 each.
~! NEW !~ Shorter sessions DO HELP ALOT. Try a 45 minute session for $55.
About Learn about phone sessions, what clients have to say, my professional training, or my personal life.
