Depression self help has to begin with possibilities. You have to find some place where you can see a possibility or nothing can change.
Have you ever noticed how you feel about possibilities when you are feeling depressed? Is it a catch 22? Like...if you felt there were possibilities, you would not be depressed?
What possibilities do you need in your life?
It is ok -- even good -- to start small. It is not reasonable to expect that depression self help is going to pop you directly to optimism and solid "vision-purpose-goals-hopes-and-dreams".
BUT- when you see that something helps even just a tad, then all you need is more of it. And it snowballs into significant changes before you know it.
So...what do I mean..."possibilities"? Start small??
Here is an example of how to start small. When I started on this web site, I couldn't get clear on how it would work. I was so terrified I was literally shaking. I spent months just coming up with a specific idea for it. So-instead of a big picture vision, I saw my self at the keyboard, typing. Like with painting a room...the idea is to get the paint out of the can and onto the walls. So that is where I started...my possibility, the one that was small enough to help me, was simply to see myself at the keyboard, typing.
Imagine you are in this scenario...
You live with a hostile teenager...your child or a step-child. You try hard to be loving, forgiving, and understanding. You try to be adult, you try not to take his hostility personally. You know that reacting only makes things worse.
..However, the truth is…you are triggered and you respond with hostility...openly and/or internally. You feel frustrated and unsupported in your efforts to relate with the teenager.
The situation has been getting under your skin for a long time and nothing you do helps. Your frustration is turning into hopelessness and despair. You can feel depression seeping into your life energy.
Here is how depression self help and possibilities might help you.
POSSIBILITIES:
The kid gets it, acts right, and treats you with warmth, appreciation and respect.
The kid leaves home.
You center and relax and breathe every time you feel triggered by the kid.
You accept that you have your unmet needs of feeling respected and appreciated. You do some healing and focus on deserving and attracting respect and appreciation. You give it to yourself and to the kid. You notice you are not as triggered by the kid.
You learn about the feelings, issues, and unmet needs of the kid. You have genuine empathy for what the kid is going through. You accept this is a difficult time for the kid and hope you can help the kid see what a wonderful person they are, and how wonderful life can be despite all the pain.
You practice seeing the kid in love and light. You know the kid can’t see their own wholeness so you see it for them…for the time being.
You develop very clear boundaries and consequences with the kid.
You use your frustration with the kid to practice ‘radical forgiveness’ within yourself.
You journal your feelings and frustrations.
You find a support group or therapist to help you deal with your triggered feelings.
You jog two miles to burn off the steam.
Most of the time…a possibility is a less stressful response from you - an opportunity to learn and grow as you expand your responses...
When you connect with what is really going on inside you...when you face and accept the truth of the negative feelings and beliefs hidden under your efforts to feel better, you are beginning your depression self help process.
What is your problem with possibility? Can you do both:
1. ...face your "negative" feelings AND
2. ...can you list a few possibilities for what you want, how you want YOU to respond differently? Are you good at focusing on what you want?
What happens inside you that does not support you in embracing possibilities?
What is your negative belief about the possibilities you need?You can use this list to help you identify the negative belief that prevents you from positive change.
Depression Self Help and Your Negative Beliefs
1. I’ve lost my “spirit” for life.
2. I don’t want “goals”...I go with the flow.
3. I should be different…I need to “figure it out and get healed.”
4. I cannot accept myself or others or my life.
5. I’ve made so many embarrassing mistakes…I cannot trust myself.
6. I am permanently damaged.
7. I do not handle change well.
8. I sabotage myself.
9. I don’t know what I want.
10. It’s all good, it’s Divine Will, it’s not up to me.
11. Nobody appreciates my needs or what I want.
Do you think you have any problems around possibilities in your life? How do you feel about your problem with possibility?
What do you want instead of your problem with possibility?
The next step in depression self help is to replace what "gets in the way" with what helps open the way...what inspires? What feels better?
Do any of these positive beliefs support your possibilities and depression self help?
1. Life is a sublime chess game with Divine Possibility and it is my move.
2. My intentions are of utmost importance. I create and resonate with my intentions. My intentions determine who I am, how I relate, what I do, and the outcomes I experience. My intentions are in constant flux as I expand and deepen and learn as I go.
3. Thinking I should be different never helps. I focus on shifting into my possibilities fully present and accepting of the now.
4. Resisting never helps. I welcome the strength and learning of my experiences and use them to get back on track.
5. I learn only from my experiences and I am grateful for all the wisdom I am gaining.
6. I am as God created me. I connect to the wholeness in myself and in others.
7. I expand into my light and I am supported and nourished by Mother Earth.
8. I am a pioneer in creating a life that I love. I learn what I want from trial and error. I am self confident about what I truly want.
9. I want to radiate peace, light, and love. I want to feel my heart expanding with endless, joyous possibilities and appreciation of all that is.
10. I am a being of light no matter how wretched I feel. I take the next step to dissolve anything that blocks my experience of my light.
11. We all want to get in touch with our light. When I am in touch with my light, I am shining light for others.
What else? What are some depression self help statements or beliefs, in your own words, that will support your possibilities?
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About Learn about phone sessions, what clients have to say, my professional training, or my personal life.
Your Wood Element (from Chinese Energy Medicine) is about the possibility of depression self help because it is about hope and growth and new beginnings. If your Wood Element is stressed, (if you are hopeless or angry, for example), strengthening your Wood Element will help you.
