Depression Poems: Suspended

by Leann Y
(TN)

Suspended in time I wake to survive
Through many tears and sleepless nights.
Screaming inside till it hurts just to breath.
But you can not hear, I am buried so deep.

Taking you back, just one more time.
Fighting to keep what I once thought was mine.
Caught in the dark I look for the light
Winning the war but losing the fight.

So many years lost in the dark
No sense of life, not even a spark.
No ray of hope - I am so far away
Wondering how much longer I will stay.

In the midst of the pain and blackness I call
But nobody is there and again I fall.
I finally know that I am my best friend
I am not alone after all in the end.

Living for you is so hard, you see
I have always fought so hard to be me.
I will not lose myself just to please you
Forever I am lost if that is what I do.

Up from the dust I start anew
Alone in this world, nothing is new.
Then I find out that you are still here
In spite of my doubt, in spite of your fear.

Letting you in is the hardest to do
Wondering again if you will ever be true.
I do need you now - but again I see
I want my space and need to be free.

I will try once more to give you my heart
Only to see if you will tear it apart.
I will give you a chance and see what you do
...Suspended in time waiting on you.

You think I am here but I am so far away
I am almost gone but yet still I stay.
What will it take to get through to me?
...Suspended in time waiting to see.