Depression Chat Rooms - 30 years

My abandonment issues go back to when I was 15 and life was secure and wonderful until my parents divorced and the rug got pulled out from under me at a HIGH RATE OF SPEED.

At the time I didn't see it coming; but now see that my dad had enormous reasons for wanting out. When he left my mother shut down (when she wasn't making it clear to me that he didn't just leave her but me as well.)

Since then I have had relationships with men that I subconsciously knew were doomed from the start- if you expect to be hurt then you're not surprised when it happens.

I am now in a three year relationship with a man who isn't anything like my previous partners and sometimes my issues still get the best of me. I'm working on communicating to him when I feel scared and making it clear that it's not his fault instead of running away-which has been my pattern.

I'm finding it difficult to understand why the more I open myself up, the more these old feelings and fears come up. Has anyone else been here before/now?
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Thanks for your submission and for raising a good question. I look forward to seeing the responses.
with love,
Laura