depressed

For over a year now, I have been stalked by a former employer. He recruited men to date me and after learning about this I suffered a nervous breakdown. However, he continues to stalk me. For the past year, I have been under a severe amount of stress because I have been unable to work.

I am now experiencing physical health problems also. I have few friends to talk to and my physical and emotional health continues to deteriorate. I miss my life before the stalking began.

I hate my life and feel that things will never change. I think of suicide daily now. I learned yesterday that my ex-boyfriend got married recently. It's very difficult to hear of his marriage, especially since I have nothing going for me. The stress from the past year has caused me to experience hormonal problems, which will make it unlikely that I will have a family of my own. I get sad when thinking of this and get sadder when I realize that I have wasted so much of my life because of the stalker.

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I say this with a heart full of love and respect and gentleness... but it sounds very similar to something my half sister went through. It is so similar it is uncanny. She also had an employer who was stalking and threatening to sell her to white sex slave traders and she found that he had cameras hidden in her shower and apartment. All kinds of really disturbing things, and lots of very convincing details.

Then one time she got so angry, she went out on the balcony of her high rise apartment and kicked down the banisters. It was amazing that she didn't fall and die.

That episode led my parents to get her tested and it turned out that she has brain chemistry imbalance. It took a few tries but she finally received wonderful medication that allows her to live a good happy life. She is now very happily married, we started a business together, and she is beautiful and laughs alot.

We don't think twice about medication for every disease in the world but for brain chemistry, we'd rather suffer to the point of suicide. Please don't make that mistake. Please get help. If you don't have a doctor, you can admit yourself somewhere, all you have to say is that you are thinking of harming yourself.

I know you can come to the other side of this. I'm so sorry you are having this terrible difficulty. Please know that you can be utterly astounded by the positive difference good treatment can do for you. I'd like to recommend a movie that does a great job of illustrating what a simple chemical imbalance can do to you. It is called "A Beautiful Mind." What the movie fails completely though, is showing how much - How HUGELY much -- medication has improved in the decades since the time that movie is set in, it is set in the Fifties( I think.) Really, my family LIVES this reality and my mother trains people about imbalances. The newer medications are SO SO helpful. Just be patient for the first year or two, sometimes it takes a little while for things to settle, but they do. I promise!

There is nothing to lose and everything to gain~!

with lots of love to you,
Laura