Childhood Abandonment Issues - So Easily Crushed

by Djfield
(McKinney, Tx.)

After being born prematurely and drug addicted, she had a seizure. Pneumonia, Spinal Meningitis, Herpes, underdeveloped lungs and a few other problems at birth that kept her in the hospital for two months.

During these months, doctors searched for a medicine that may save her life. From the neck down, she had to be paralyzed, while they hoped.

Her mother? She left the hospital after her normal postpartum release. There was no return until the medicine was discovered and this tiny infant was ready to be released.

Two and a half years later, after being left at the babysitters for 2 weeks, the grandparents were notified and they immediately relieved the sitter. The father, who was not engaged until now, was asked to take the child. Delighted, this began a long journey into the puzzling effects that the abandonment experience would have on this little girl.

She has, on a one-year-on one-year-off basis, had visits with the mother. These visits were entangled with neglect and mistreatment, mixed with acts of loving maternal splashes.

The mother seems to hold on to the relationship's existence, living in absolute denial that is grossly riddled with obvious regrets and dislike. Similar to drug withdraw, the child's physical illness lingered for a year. After that, the signs of ADHD became apparent. Then there were more obvious differences in her behavior.

Eventually, school would begin and the real problems would start effecting her daily life. Five years more, the song is the same. It is more than an abandonment issue, it's a multitude of questionable brain patterns and choices that become entangled and unmanageable. This appears to be a lifelong battle. Attempts to repair and rebuild have failed tremendously. A continuously lost war, due to the small battles (the one-year-one one-year-off trilogies) that keep the flames burning.

It is so heartbreaking. If only people knew the depth in which their choices carry. There is a lack of understanding and knowledge, amongst parents about the importance and details involved in child development. I mean the real, text book and classroom version of Child Development 101.

The psychology and mental health involved in the choices that are made as a small mind is growing. There is so much that is involved, more than one would think. The repercussions of bad choices are so obviously profound and a child's spirit is so delicate, so easily crushed.

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Thank you for writing and sharing. This is one heartbreaking example of so many children. Laura
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