BUM (back up mom or rather stepmom) needs advice

by Raine
(oregon)

My 13 yr old son... step son, but think of him as my own,... is switching to our house full time. His mother has decided to just give up. Financially, she believes that she can't make it one her own and wants us to take him. I know that he WILL be better in our house in the long run, but am really worried about abandonment issues. I would love some suggestions on how to help him. I love him like he is my own and want him to know that it all will be okay... but don't wish to share what I believe are adult issues with him for his own well being. I have so much more to say, but this is a start.
Thanks~worried mom~raine
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For a start, here is a biblical story that illustrates that love means doing what is in the best interest of the child, even though that can LOOK and FEEL like abandonment. More tomorrow, in your other post in Fear of abandonment.
With love,
Laura


The story is recounted in 1Kings 3:16-28. Two prostitutes who lived in the same house and who both had an infant son, came to Solomon for a judgement. One of the women claimed that the other, after accidentally smothering her own son while sleeping, had exchanged the two children to make it appear that the living child was hers. The other woman denied this and so both women claimed to be the mother of the living son and said that the dead boy belonged to the other.
After some deliberation, king Solomon called for a sword to be brought before him. He declared that there is only one fair solution: the live son must be split in two, each woman receiving half of the child. Upon hearing this terrible verdict, the boy's true mother cried out, "Please, My Lord, give her the live child—do not kill him!" However, the liar, in her bitter jealousy, exclaimed, "It shall be neither mine nor yours—divide it!" Solomon instantly gave the live baby to the real mother, realizing that the true mother's instincts were to protect her child, while the liar revealed that she did not truly love the child. The reputation of the king greatly increased when all the people of Israel heard of this wise judgement.