ann

Today I have been crying uncontrollably. The year has been full of stressors-seems like every two months. It has worn on me and brought up my most deepest fears and also brought to light my character defects...just too much sadness.

My son came home and I saw him as a drug abuser and alcoholic. I have survived this before and quickly began to care for him. Gratefully he has been clean for 9 monhs now and looks pretty well. It has been painful because my coping mechanism as a child of an alcoholic have surfaced...constant worry, giving unsolicited advice in a domneering way.

My son told me I was sick and even said he might not be able to visit me. I keep doing this same behavior after spending time together the same things happens and he is angry with me I hate when people are angry. It makes me so sad that I behave like this and find it difficult to control.

I keep getting so depressed that I stop going to Alanon meetings which I know will help. A few weeks ago I thought I might lose my apartment. Had an anxiety attack for a week until the landlord stopped bothering me. Today I found out the manager wants me to come into the office . Too many stressors, possible losses for someone like me.

My boyfriend and son are not very compassionate, I stopped going to my psychiatrist. I missed a few sessions because my work schedle keeps changing, felt bad, tried to resolve and then had to cancel again. Just gave up and didn't want to go but wish I had therapy I really need it. I feel so alone.

I am alone, don't speak to my parents as they were violent alcoholics, don't have siblings, and most of my friendships are with people who are not compassionate. My boyfriend of three years left me when my son came home. Can't even believe all of this bad luck as I am writing this. Thanks for this forum.
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Awwww, Ann. It is really all piling up on you, isn't it? I know what it is like to do the behavior you do with your son. It is hard to control. I think instead of controlling, try to let him go... to his own destiny, to the divine will, his spirit is learning his lessons through his free will.

The other thing that has helped me is to keep focusing on my life. How do I make my life work? Over and over, not his life but my life. You know what I mean?

Ask yourself, what do I need? Imagine and believe that you can focus on what you need and it will help you get it. Resolve that you will solve your problems very well. And also ask what makes you feel happy and open, and find some way to get more of that.

If you'd like to do therapy with me, just let me know. My work can be a huge breakthrough for you.

with love
Laura